


Lost Time

by hoffkk



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Friendship, Multi, Theroy, Unplanned Pregnancy, caitlicity, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-04-01 07:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoffkk/pseuds/hoffkk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver is still missing after setting off to duel Ra's al Ghul.  The team works on moving on, which is a lot easier said than done.  Felicity encourages Roy to reconnect with Thea, while dealing with her own relationship issues.  Then a mystery pregnancy test shows up (positive) and everyone's emotions and relationships are put to the test.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We're in the same boat, the S.S. Queen

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Arrow based fic, with a shout out to snowbarry.  
> Don't wanna give anything away, so read and enjoy!  
> My apologies for any grammatical errors.

It was ten o'clock on a week night. Felicity Smoak had spent hours at her computer in the foundry, just as she had every other night this week, running every kind of computer algorithm she could think of, doing anything she could to find some trace of the again missing Oliver Queen.  
She was shutting down and getting ready to head home for the night when Roy Harper walked in from doing his nightly patrol of Starling City. He looked just as drained and depressed as she felt.  
As Felicity watched him place his bow back in its resting spot and remove his mask, she felt a tug in her gut. She had been thinking a lot lately about her relationship with Oliver. They had so many ups and downs and now... he was gone. If there was anything she learned from that it was that life was short and you have to make the most of it. With that in mind, Felicity knew she needed to talk to Roy.  
Sitting in her chair, Felicity shutdown her computer as Roy walked back in from changing out of his uniform. Now in his typical jeans and red hoodie (she swore she was going to buy him 8 more for Hanukkah in an array of colors), she figured now was as good of a time as any to talk to him. "Hey, Roy? Can I talk to you for a sec?" She said as she stood up and began walking toward him.  
Roy was fixing his uniform into place on the mannequin, but quickly met her half way. "Find something?" he asked optimistically with a dash of hope in his eyes.  
"What? Oh, uh...no." Felicity responded in a somber voice, realizing he was referring to the whereabouts of his missing mentor.  
Roy gave a quiet "oh" in response and nodded, slumping his shoulders.  
Felicity went on, "I just wanted to talk to you...about Thea." She paused to gauge his reaction.  
"Okay. What about her?" He said indifferently.  
"Do you still care about her? I mean, of course you care about her. That was a stupid question. What I meant was...do you still have feelings for her? You know, of the romantic variety." The question came out rougher than she intended, but the rant wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.  
He opened his mouth, but paused, trying to pick his words carefully. "It's complicated."  
"No it's not, Roy. It's simple. Do you love Thea? Yes or no?" Felicity had a good idea of what the answer was, but she needed to hear him say it.  
Roy took a deep breath and answered, "Yes."  
Felicity's suspicions were confirmed. She took a step forward and placed both of her hands on top of his shoulders, looking him in the eye and speaking slowly. "Then tell her. Win her back. Be with her." She let her hands drop and stepped back.  
He ran his hand through his hair as he spoke, "I can't Felicity. It's too dangerous. Oliver said- "  
"Oliver's not here!" Felicity couldn't help but snap back. She had to cut him off before she heard yet another version of Oliver's infamous "to be the Arrow, I have to be alone" speech. Each version was worse than the last and still a load of crap. "Oliver's...gone. And we have no idea if or when he is even coming back." She continued in a calmer voice than the former.  
Roy nodded and replied, "I know that, and I get that you're having a hard time dealing with it - we all are - but..."  
Felicity cut him off again; he obviously wasn't getting the point. "This isn't about me, Roy. It's about Thea...who may have just lost the only real family she had left."  
He considered her statement, then added, "Technically, she still has Malcolm Merlyn."  
Felicity wanted to smack him. "I said real family. A sperm donor does not a father make." As soon as she spoke the words, Felicity couldn't help but think of her own deadbeat dad. She brushed those thoughts aside for another day.  
"Right." Roy replied, not sure why he even brought up Merlyn in the first place. He concluded that he was trying to look on the positive side of things for Thea's sake. Although, considering their current situation is all Malcolm Merlyn's fault, he can't be that much of a positive.  
Pulling Roy out of his thoughts, Felicity went on, "Look, my point is...whether she knows it or not, she needs you now more than ever. She needs your hand on her shoulder to tell her everything is gonna be alright, your reassuring smile to make her feel better when she's at her worst, your palm on her cheek to show just how much you really care about her." Felicity knew she was referring Oliver as soon as she started talking, but she couldn't help it. Thankfully, Roy was too lost in thought over Thea to notice.  
"Of course I will be there for her....but as a friend." Roy countered. "Trust me, Thea doesn't think of me like that. Not anymore."  
Felicity rubbed her temple with her middle finger, wanting to face-palm so hard. This boy has spent way too many nights alone with Oliver Queen. She thought to herself. "Listen to me carefully, Roy, Thea broke up with you because you lied to her, not because she stopped loving you." Roy seemed to consider what she was saying, crossing his arms in silence. Felicity took that as her cue to go on. "I see the way you look at each other when you're working in the club..." Roy gave a puzzled look. "Security cameras. I get bored." Felicity explained, referring to her new hobby of hacking the club's video feed and people watching. Roy quirked a brow, "Seriously?"  
"What I am trying to say is that she still loves you, Roy. And you obviously still love her, so quit denying it and each other. It will only end up causing more harm than good." She said speaking of her own personal "Queen experience."  
Roy was confused. He wanted so much to be with Thea again, but was it really the best move? He rubbed his face with his hands, sliding them back into his hair. "Why do you care so much?"  
"Because...you're my friend, Roy." She smiled. "You are like the annoying, arrogant little brother I never had." Felicity added as she shoved his shoulder. Getting more serious, she continued on. "And I'd hate to see you miss out on something great, only to have regrets later on." Again, she was thinking of her own "Queen experience" as she spoke. She and Roy were totally on the same boat: the S.S. Queen. Hopefully, he would sail a much smoother course than she ever did.


	2. So, What Are You Gonna Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pregnancy test is found, but who's is it? And what does this mean for the team?

Felicity was tired and nauseous. She had a pit in her stomach ever since the day Oliver left. Weeks ago now, but the pain in her heart makes it feel like it was just yesterday. Felicity was walking down the steps into the foundry when she noticed Roy. He was pacing back and forth rapidly, running his hands through his hair when they weren't balled into fists at his sides.  
"Whoa there, Speedy." Felicity said, using Oliver's old nickname for Roy. She thought it would lighten the mood. However, Roy was too consumed in his own thoughts to notice.  
"Oh, man." Roy muttered, running his hand through his hair again.  
"Roy." Felicity said in a louder tone as she came up behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder to garner his attention. "What's wrong?" Something was clearly troubling him, and Felicity was worried. He seemed so happy ever since he took her advice and got back together with Thea. She hoped there wasn't trouble in paradise.  
Roy jumped a bit at her touch, took in Felicity's presence, and took a breath. "I...I messed up."  
"Tell me what happened." Felicity instructed, removing her hand from Roy's shoulder and placing her coat and purse on her desk. She grabbed the bottle of water from her purse and turned back to face Roy. As Felicity started to take a swig, she suddenly found herself choking at Roy's next words.  
"Thea...she...she's pregnant." Roy stuttered out.  
"What?! How?" Felicity all but yelled, trying to process what she was hearing.  
Deciding to humor Felicity, Roy actually began to answer her stupid question with half a smirk on his face. "Well, since we started dating again, we have been, um... making up for lost time. A lot. And apparently-"  
"No, no, no. That is NOT what I meant!" Felicity cut him off, cheeks flushing a bright shade of pink. "I am very aware of how babies are made. What I meant was how could you be so stupid?!" Felicity was rubbing her temples now. This was the last thing Team Arrow needed right now.  
What little smile Roy had before had disappeared and he was back to looking stressed. "I...I don't know. I swear we were careful. It just doesn't make any sense." Roy started to pace again.  
Felicity took a deep breath. "Well, what exactly did Thea say when she told you that she was pregnant?"  
Roy stopped mid step, looking uncertain and a bit sheepish. "Uh...see...the thing is...I didn't exactly talk to her about it.  
Felicity fidgeted with her hands as she tried to follow what he was saying. Hoping to clear things up, she asked slowly and deliberately, "Okay...what exactly did you do?"  
"I found the test in the trash." Before she could respond, Roy went on to explain himself. "I was taking out the trash from her private bathroom, the one off of her office upstairs, when the bag split open on the side. I was putting the spilled items into another trash bag and...and then I saw it. A white stick with a pink plus sign. It was just staring at me, taunting me. I thought I was gonna hurl." Roy added, placing a hand on his stomach for emphasis.  
Felicity froze at his explanation, then took a deep breath. "Everything is gonna be okay, Roy."  
"I love Thea. I really do, but I'm not ready to be a father. I don't even know the first thing about babies." Roy went on, shaking his head.  
"Roy, trust me when I say that you have nothing to worry about." Felicity said looking him straight in the eyes, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.  
"How can you be so sure?" Roy responded, clearly on the verge of freaking out. Felicity felt bad for him. She knew what she had to do next: tell the truth. And judging by his greenish complexion, she better do it fast.  
"Because..." Felicity took a deep breath. "The test isn't Thea's. It's mine."  
Felicity saw a wave of relief crash over him, followed by a look of concern. He was about to respond, but was interrupted by a deep voice from the stairwell behind them.  
"Please tell me you didn't just say what I think you said." Diggle interjected. Damn it. How long had he been there? Felicity wondered. She planned to keep this to herself for as long as possible, but apparently her hiding skills and Diggle's Jedi-military "you won't hear me coming" skills blew that plan out of the water.  
Felicity didn't want to say it again. She couldn't. It made things all too real. So, she simply nodded guiltily as she sat in her comfy leather computer chair, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. Why was this happening? Why her? Why now?  
"But who..." Roy asked aloud. There wasn't time to finish before Diggle interjected again, answering his question.  
"It's Oliver's, isn't it?" Diggle spoke silently, hoping he was wrong for Felicity's sake.  
Felicity nodded yet again, confirming Diggle's suspicion as she thought about her bittersweet goodbye with Oliver and how one innocent moment between friends turned into something so much more; something filled with passion and love. Felicity bit her lip in remembrance.  
"I'm so sorry Felicity." Roy replied, placing his hand on her arm, giving a reassuring squeeze.  
"Roy, can you give me a minute alone with Felicity?" Diggle asked, though it wasn't really a question. He knew better than to cross Diggle.  
"Sure thing...I'll be upstairs getting the club ready for tonight if you guys need me." Roy answered, giving Felicity another quick squeeze on her forearm before heading up the steps to Verdant's main floor. Meanwhile Digg pulled up a chair next to Felicity, sitting on it backward with his arms resting on the back of the chair.  
"So, what are you gonna do?" Diggle probed, playing the big brother role he was so good at.  
"I don't know." Felicity said, wiping a stray tear that was making its way down her left cheek. "The thought of abortion makes me sick, but I...I can't have a baby. Not like this." Felicity spun her chair so she was facing Digg. She was about to open up to him about her past, and she needed to make sure she had his full attention...that he understood what she was about to say. "When my dad left...I...I was young, and confused, and hurt, and angry. Then, I got older, and more confused, and hurt, and angry. I couldn't understand how someone could just leave their kid like that. No explanation. No kiss goodbye. Nothing. Growing up, I had so many questions. Where was he? Why did he leave? Did he even care about me at all?"  
"Felicity..." Diggle wanted to tell her to stop. That she didn't need to explain herself or her past, but she was insistent.  
"No Digg," Felicity held up her hand to tell him to stop. It wasn't until then that she realized how tightly she had been gripping the arms of her chair. "Let me finish, please." He nodded and she continued, "I had all these questions and no answers. It was torture. Sometimes... sometimes it still is." She added the last bit a little more quietly. "Anyway...I promised myself that I would never let a child grow up like that...ever. But...if I have this baby... that is exactly what I will be doing. He or she is eventually going to have questions about their father; questions I can't answer. And I won't put them through that. I can't."  
Diggle nodded in understanding. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but he knew now wasn't the time. Her voice was shaky and he could tell that she was on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Diggle decided that instead of arguing with her, he would try another route. "There's always adoption."  
"No. No way. If I give up this baby, then I am no better than my father. I will not abandon my child." Felicity stated firmly. "Besides, there is no guarantee that they will end up with a nice family. If there is anything I have learned in the last three years it's that shit happens, and if something bad happens to my kid...if they ended up with a bad family, in a bad home...because of me...I couldn't live with myself."  
Diggle scratched the back of his head; he couldn't think of any other options. Felicity had shot down everything. He couldn't blame her though; something like this can be hard to process. Diggle new that much from his own pregnancy surprise with Lyla. However, Diggle did give Felicity some credit. Her reasoning made sense to some extent, but she obviously wasn't being rational. Diggle knew it was better to bite his tongue, then admit that last point out loud, especially in a room with so many pointy objects. So, he opted to change tactics. "Let's back up a sec."  
Felicity looked up at Digg in confusion. He continued, "Before, you worry yourself any more over what the next step is, maybe you should make sure that there is an actual problem to begin with. Tests can be unreliable, you know."  
"Way ahead of you. As soon as I saw that pink plus sign, I sent a blood sample over to Caitlin in Central City." Felicity informed him, finally starting to relax a bit, leaning back in her chair. At least she had control over something.  
"What did you tell her exactly?" Diggle questioned.  
"I told her what to look for, but not who the sample belonged to. I was trying to keep my predicament on the DL, and as you can see that plan is working out just fabulously!" Felicity said, the latter dripping with sarcasm. "I should find out the results soon. Honestly, I don't know why I am so worked up over it. I'm sure it's a false positive." Felicity seemed to be trying to convince herself more so than Diggle.  
Diggle nodded and placed his hand on Felicity's shoulder, looking her intently in the eyes with a small smile. "I'm sure you're right, but...if you are indeed pregnant, Oliver or no Oliver, you are not in this alone. We are all here for you."  
Felicity couldn't help let half a smile form on her face. "We?" She asked.  
"Yes, we." Diggle went on to explain, "Me, Lyla, Roy, and I'm sure Thea will be excited to have a new niece or nephew, you know, once we figure out a way to explain everything to her."  
"Thanks, Digg." Felicity returned the shoulder grab with a full smile.  
Diggle couldn't help himself and grinned. He so had to go there. "And then there's your mom..."  
Felicity's smile immediately dropped, and she leaned sideways onto the arm of her chair, putting her head into her right hand, face-palming. "Oh, dear god. Please let it be a false positive. Please!"  
A laugh escaped from Diggle as he shook his head. He couldn't help but notice that while one hand hid her face, the other subconsciously stroked her stomach. At this moment, Diggle knew that whatever may happen with Felicity and her pregnancy, it was going to be okay. Felicity was a strong, young woman, stronger than she would ever know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of the little twist? Let me know in the comment section!


	3. Your Results Are In...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity video chats with Caitlin, and learns some interesting news.

Felicity had had a long day, and was glad to finally be in the comfort of her own apartment. She didn't realize how hungry she was until she walked through the front door. Felicity quickly removed her black pea coat and tossed it onto the beige colored couch along with her white knock-off Michael Kors purse. The purse wasn't her favorite, but the black accent it had made it perfect for the dress she was wearing, which was her favorite. Well, one of her favorites anyway. She had too many dresses to pick just one. The dress was a sleeveless sheath style number with white down the sides and a wide strip of blue down the front, separated by thin black lines. As much as she loved it though, she couldn't wait to take it off.

Felicity crossed from the living room to the small kitchen area. Her stomach grumbled as she pulled out her leftover Chinese food from the fridge and popped it in the microwave. She ordered it the night before, but couldn't finish it all. Felicity loved the veggie lo mein from Chao Fang's and couldn't help but over-order.  
After setting the cook time and hitting the start button, Felicity made her way to the bedroom. She undid her black, strappy heels, kicking them off into her closet. Felicity then changed into her favorite MIT t-shirt. It was grey with cardinal red letters spelling out the school's initials. The shirt was also an extra large. The fabric was so soft that she had to have it when she saw it in the school store sophomore year. However, the only sizes left were large and extra large. Felicity had opted for the latter so it would hang down passed her bottom, making for the perfect sleep shirt. No pants required. And it was definitely a pants-less kind of night.

Barefoot, she padded back out to the kitchen, undoing her hair from her ponytail, letting it fall on to her shoulders. It had been a long, stressful day, and apparently it wasn't over yet. Felicity was replaying the conversation she had with Diggle earlier that day in her head when the timer went off, signaling her dinner was ready to eat. She grabbed her plate from the microwave, discarding the plastic wrap that was placed over top. Felicity had just sat down on her couch and placed her food onto the coffee table when she heard a muffled beeping sound. She looked around the room briefly before realizing the noise was coming from her purse. Pulling out her tablet, the sound became more audible, revealing a Skype video chat request. Felicity stared at the name on the screen for a moment in silence. Caitlin. Oh boy. She didn't expect to hear from Caitlin so soon. Tomorrow maybe, but tonight? Right now? Felicity's stomach churned. She wanted answers for her...condition. Desperately. Almost as bad as she didn't want them. If she didn't know any of the details, then she could pretend that nothing was wrong; that nothing was happening. Granted, pretending nothing was happening would be a whole lot easier if Roy and Digg weren't in the know. Felicity wasn't sure if Roy would bring it up again, but she knew Diggle would. Digg would pester her about it every day no doubt. So, this was it. The moment of truth. She took a deep breath and tapped the icon to answer the video call.

Suddenly the face of her good friend Caitlin Snow appeared on her screen; she was wearing an orange blouse, which accented her reddish-brown hair that cascaded down over her shoulders in soft waves. Felicity became even more nervous. Through phone call or text she could hide her reactions, but video chat? Not so much. This would make things a bit more difficult. She really didn't want Caitlin to find out the truth. Too many people already knew what was going on. She could only hope that Caitlin wouldn't ask too many questions.  
"Hey," Caitlin greeted. "I hope you don't mind the impromptu video chat. I saw that you were online, so I figured I would call and see what's up in Starling. Oh and the blood sample you sent me is still running, but I should have the results any minute now." Felicity didn't respond right away, needing another moment to collect herself. Caitlin spoke again, "Felicity? Can you hear me? Is this a bad time?" Felicity pushed her worries away as far as she could and quickly responded, trying to keep Caitlin from suspecting that anything might be wrong. "What? I mean yeah. Yes, it's a good time. Why wouldn't it be? Just a typical evening in the Smoak household...well, technically it's an apartment, but it is very homey and it houses me, so..." Felicity realized she was babbling, so she decided to throw the conversation back to Caitlin. "Anyway, how are you doing? How's "Team Flash?" Felicity twirled some strands of her bottled-blonde hair with her fingers as Caitlin responded, "Harrison is the same as usual, Cisco is...well, he's Cisco, and Barry is okay...though he was acting a bit odd the other day." Felicity and Caitlin talked at least once a week, so Felicity was very aware of the fact that Barry had revealed his true feelings to Iris, only to be rejected. Felicity also knew that he had not been the same since. Not completely. However, the way Caitlin said that he was acting a bit odd caught her attention. Felicity sensed there was something more. "You wanna elaborate on that?" Felicity urged. Caitlin looked a bit nervous, biting her lip before shaking her head and saying, "It was nothing, really. There was just a small incident and his reaction...I don't know...I guess it just surprised me." Felicity furrowed her brow, wanting Caitlin to continue. "Okaaaay. So what happened exactly?" Caitlin reluctantly went on to further explain. "Captain Cold, one of the metahumans that got away, came back and..." Before she could say anything a rapid beeping noise cut her off. Saved by the bell, Caitlin thought. "Oh look, your results are in...." Caitlin stated, glad for the change in subject. She really didn't want to go down that road. Or did she?  
Felicity's mood quickly changed. She went from being as curious as the monkey on that kids show to being completely terrified. Felicity squeezed her tablet tightly in her hands and held her breath as she awaited Caitlin's response. Control yourself, Felicity. Don't react. Don't react. She scolded herself mentally.  
"Okay, so the blood sample came back positive for human chorionic gonadotropin. That makes it official. Your mystery female is definitely pregnant."  
Felicity's eyes bulged out of her head, but she quickly drew them back in as her one hand went below screen view to touch her stomach. Definitely pregnant. The two words echoed in Felicity's head.  
"Whose blood sample is this anyway? Is it for a case?" Caitlin wondered aloud. Felicity felt bad. She and Caitlin had become pretty close ever since she and Cisco helped Team Arrow defeat Slade and his Mirakuru soldiers; Caitlin was basically the only real female friend she had. That being said, Felicity didn't want to lie to her, but she couldn't tell her the truth either. For one, she had to process it herself first. Also, she couldn't very well tell Caitlin about the pregnancy without bringing up Oliver and the current situation, and that was on a strict need-to-know basis. So, Felicity settled on half-truths. "Sort of...it's complicated."  
"I see." Caitlin replied with a skeptical look on her face as if she was deciding whether or not to accept her friend's vague response. Suddenly, Caitlin's face turned to worry, eyes doubling in size. "Oh no...please, don't tell me Roy has gone and done something stupid."  
Felicity couldn't help but let a small smile escape, before answering. "No." Not Roy, she thought. Felicity rubbed the back of her neck , deciding she needed to change the subject pronto. "So what about Captain Cold?"  
"Hmmm?" Caitlin mumbled, caught up in whatever side-work she was doing at the lab. "Captain Cold...he came back?"  
"Oh, uh...yeah." Caitlin looked bummed like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Clearly she didn't want to talk about what happened. Well, tough 'cause we're soooo not talking about my thing, Felicity thought. Plus, Felicity was still pretty curious about where this story was going.  
"He was trying to get to Barry...to draw him out. So, he brought a friend and...they kidnapped me." "They what!? Felicity gasped. "Are you okay?" She added, bringing the screen closer to her face, searching for any signs of injury on Caitlin; not that she could see anything much below her shoulders. "I'm fine. Promise. See?" Said Caitlin as she plastered a big, cheesy smile on her face to make her point. "Okay, so then what happened?" Felicity probed. Caitlin thought for a moment and decided to go with the quick version to make it seem like less of an ordeal. "Long story short, Barry saved the day and booked Captain Cold a suite at STAR Lab's correctional." Caitlin clarified with smug look on her face. "Good." Felicity smiled back. "And the odd part?" Caitlin took a breath before she went on, "I'm probably thinking too much. It's just... after everything went down, I was thanking him for saving my life and...and we sort of had a moment. He didn't say anything in particular. It was just the way he grabbed my hand and looked at me that made me feel...different." _A way I haven't felt in a while_. She inwardly thought. "Anyway, I think he felt it too because he lingered, staring at me and...well, then it got awkward and he sped away. Felicity shook her head, caressing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. _Oh, Barry_.  
"So, any thoughts on the subject?" Caitlin asked uncertainly. Felicity decided to test the waters here. "I think...I think you two would make a cute couple." Felicity didn't expect Caitlin's reaction. She looked a little worried. Actually, that was putting it mildly. In reality, Caitlin looked light a deer caught in the headlights. She was hoping Felicity would tell her she was being ridiculous; that that big brain of hers was over thinking the situation. Caitlin was not at all expecting her to agree that they did indeed share an intimate moment. She suddenly felt a mixture of emotions swirl rapidly inside of her body like her own personal hurricane. Caitlin tried to dismiss Felicity's statement quickly. "We're just friends. Barry loves somebody else...and so do I." Felicity could see the pain in Caitlin's eyes as she spoke those last few words, quickly wiping a tear away before it could fall below her cheek bone. Felicity's heart instantly broke for her. She knew that Caitlin was thinking about Ronnie Raymond, the love of her life who was presumed dead until a few weeks ago when Caitlin ran into him on the street. She had told Felicity all about it one night over Skype.

For the next moment, Felicity pushed all her worries aside, knowing she needed to give Caitlin her complete focus. "Look, Cait, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I know exactly what you're going through, but I do know what it's like to want someone you can't have. It is unbelievably, undeniably frustrating. You would give everything and your left arm to change the circumstances - to change his mind. But at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try, you can't. And it sucks." Felicity took a deep breath, willing away the tears and continued. "But there comes a point when you have to let go... when you have to move on and do what's best for you. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but you have to try."  
Caitlin considered Felicity's speech as Ronnie's last words filtered through her brain: _Don't look for me again_. Clearly he thought she should move on too, but with Barry? "I don't know..." Caitlin began just before Felicity interrupted.  
"I'm not saying that you have to stop loving Ronnie. A part you will always love him. I'm just saying that maybe your heart is big enough for two...maybe there is another guy out there for you." Felicity avoided Caitlin's eyes briefly as she added, "Maybe that guy could be Barry..."  
"Hypothetically speaking, let's say I did decide to move on and that the independent variable in this situation was indeed Barry." Caitlin retorted. "There is still the matter of his feelings for Iris."  
"Yes," Felicity responded, "And like your feelings for Ronnie, Barry's feelings for Iris are not going anywhere...but they will lessen over time. Whether he realizes it or not, this rejection is good for him. Barry finally has an answer, allowing him to move on, take a good look at the world around him, and take the next step."  
"Which is...?" Caitlin wondered.  
"Finding someone else." Felicity replied. "Someone that will love him back like he loves them...with his whole amazing, adorkable heart." Felicity gave her friend a warm smile.  
Caitlin gave a small smile back as she thought about Barry. He truly was adorkable. "Thanks, Felicity."  
"For what?" Felicity asked.  
"For listening and just...being a good friend." Caitlin stated appreciatively, her smile growing a bit.  
"Anytime." Felicity responded, and she really meant it too. Caitlin was like a sister to her and she would always be there for her sister.  
"Well, I should probably go... Dr. Wells doesn't really like us to use the lab equipment for personal matters...computers included." Caitlin explained.  
"Felicity nodded in understanding, "I'll talk to you later."  
"Okay, bye." Caitlin signed off.  
"Bye." Felicity said as she ended the call.  
When Felicity hit the end button, it was like someone flipped a switch on her brain. All those worries Felicity had had previously came rushing back. Those two words again echoed inside her mind. _Definitely pregnant. Definitely pregnant. Definitely pregnant._

As Felicity chewed her bottom lip in worry, she set her tablet down onto the coffee table and picked up her dinner. Suddenly, Felicity wasn't very hungry anymore. She went to the kitchen, scraped her food into the trash, placed her plate and fork in the sink, and headed for the bedroom, removing her glasses before crawling straight into bed. Felicity lay under the light grey and yellow patterned covers in her queen-sized bed, thinking about the baby and Oliver, letting the tears fall freely. As she lie on her side, stroking her stomach, she thought over the advice she had given to Caitlin. _Move on...do what's best for you...maybe there's another guy out there for you._ As these thoughts swirled around in her head, she knew the latter was a load of bull. There was only one guy for her: Oliver Jonas Queen. No other guy would ever come close to that. Not Barry Allen. Not Ray Palmer. No one.

The first half of the advice, however, Felicity took to heart. As devastating as it was, she knew that Oliver was probably never coming back - that he was dead. Therefore, she really did need to move on and do what's best for her and her baby. Their baby. Felicity just didn't know what that was at the moment. Struggling to figure it out, she cried herself to sleep with a hand still clutching her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love their friendship! It's so much fun to write! As always, feel free to let me know what you think!


	4. Someone To Lean On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate intervenes before Felicity can make any decisions, and she must lean on Roy for support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update was way over due. I have been super busy with school and stuff and haven't had time to get back to it until now! Hope you enjoy it, one way or another. Promise to update again soon!

Felicity woke up around three-thirty the next morning, puffy-faced from crying most of the night.  Her alarm wasn't set to go off for another three hours still, so she turned over on her other side and went back to sleep.  At least that was the plan, until she actually started moving and felt moisture on her legs and sheets.  A warning bell went off instantly in Felicity's head.  It was way too early to be peeing herself, so if it wasn't that....

Heart pounding, she bolted up right in bed and ripped off the covers.  Blood.  It was smeared on her thighs, bed sheets, and even soiled the hem of her t-shirt.

In panic mode, Felicity reached for her cell on the night table to call for help, but it wasn't there.  Jumping out of bed, she ran to living room, remembering she left her phone in her purse on the couch.

Reaching the living room, she nearly jumped out of her skin as she saw a long figure sprawled across her couch.

"Dammit, Roy!" She scolded, clutching her chest with one hand and wiping tears from her eyes.  She left a spare key hidden outside her apartment door in case of emergencies.  Roy used it often after fights with Thea when he needed a place to crash.  This must've been one of those nights and for that Felicity was grateful.

"Roy?"  She called out in plain voice.  When no response was given but an incoherent babble Felicity tried again louder.  "Roy!  Wake up! Something's happened.  I need you to take me to the hospital... _now_."  She managed to get out between sobs.

"What?  What's wrong?"  He questioned as he pushed himself up to a sitting position and began putting on his shoes.  "Are you bleeding?" He asked worriedly, seeing the stains on her shirt and legs.

"Yes.  Now come on!" She said, throwing her long coat on over her pajamas not wanting to waste time changing or cleaning up.  She then tossed him her keys and Roy drove them to the hospital as quickly as he could.

*******

The doctors were running some tests, while Felicity lie in a dotted, cloth gown on a hospital bed, hooked up to some monitors.  The tears finally subsided as she took deep breaths and tried to relax.

Roy held her hand, trying to keep her calm, feeling totally helpless.

"Want me to call anyone?  Your mom?  Digg?"  He offered.

"No!"  She yelled, squeezing his hand.  "I don't want anyone to know." She told him.

"Why not?" He asked curiously.

"This is my business and my business only, Roy.  Whatever happens here is between me and my doctor... and you since you refused to leave.  God, you're stubborn." Roy cracked a brief smile at her feigned annoyance then waited for her to continue on.  "My point is, no one else needs to know about tonight.  Okay?  You can't tell anyone.  Not even Thea.  Got it?"

"Got it." He promised with a nod and a squeeze of her hand.

"Thank you, Roy."  Felicity said, using her other hand to sandwich his in a warm embrace between hers. 

At first, she really was annoyed when Roy insisted on staying while the doctors ran their tests.  Felicity had always been an independent person who didn't need or want anyone else's help taking care of herself, but right now she was pretty happy to have someone to lean on.

"Ms. Smoak?" Interjected a middle-aged, Hispanic woman wearing a pair of blue scrubs with a lab coat overtop.  Her thick dark hair was pulled into a messy bun and a stethoscope hung around her neck.  She pushed her glasses up on her nose as she closed the file she held in her hand.

"Yes?"  Felicity answered, sitting up a little straighter.

"I'm Dr. Santos.  Can we talk for a moment in private?"  The woman asked.

Roy stood and was about to leave when Felicity gripped him tighter and said, "No. I mean, it's ok.  He can stay.  He's my brother."

They shared a brief smile then looked to the doctor who nodded.  "Okay then."

"It would seem you've suffered from a hemorrhage."  Dr. Santos explained.

"What caused it?" Inquired a confused Roy.

"There are several different causes for hemorrhages.  Judging by the tests we've done so far, the cause in this case is most likely fluctuating hormone levels.  Have you been particularly emotional or stressed lately?" The doctor queried.

"You could say that."  Felicity answered vaguely.

"I see.  Well, the good news is we've managed to stop the bleeding, and you are going to be just fine."

"And the baby?"  Felicity asked, barely above a whisper, getting to the heart of the matter.

The doctor removed her glasses, letting them hang from the string around her neck and sighed softly.  It was at that exact moment when Felicity's heart broke.  She knew what was coming next and wished more than anything that she could run from it, that it was all just some dream she could wake up from, but she couldn't and she wouldn't.  All she could do was wait for the inevitable.

"Unfortunately, the baby didn't make it.  I am so sorry." The doctor apologized.

Felicity shook her head as she covered her mouth with one of her hands in disbelief.  Within seconds the tears were back once more in full force.

As the doctor stepped out to give her a moment, Roy moved to sit on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest.

Felicity cried for a while until there were no tears left to shed.  At that point, she had fallen into a deep fog where she was unaware of what was going on around her and barely responsive to anything.

Roy took charge then, signing her out of the hospital and taking her home.  Once they got back to her apartment, he got a shower going and made her freshen up.  She was reluctant at first, but didn't have the energy to put up a good fight, so she caved and took a shower. 

The spray of the hot water was soothing as she stood their lost in thought about everything that had happened in the past few weeks.  Oliver left, Oliver died, she found out she was pregnant, and now... now she's not.  It wasn't fair, not fair at all.  The worst part was that their baby was the last real piece of him she had left and now it was taken from her too, just like that.  Felicity just didn't understand.  She didn't deserve this.

Sick of thinking, she quickly finished rinsing her hair, then got out and dressed in a fresh pair of pajamas, her cotton pants with the colorful nesting dolls and a STAR labs t-shirt that Caitlin had given her.  She left her hair down to air dry then made her way back to the open living room/kitchen area.  Roy was on the kitchen side cooking something on the stove, so she took a seat on a stool by the counter.

"Here, I made you some toast." Roy said, laying a plate down on the counter in front of her.

"Thanks."  Felicity said, though she wasn't actually that hungry.  "Listen, you don't have to stay..."

"I know."  He interjected.  "But I am anyways.  You shouldn't be alone right now, Lis."

"I appreciate the thought, but I have to go to work in..."  Felicity paused to check the clock on the microwave, which read 6:43am.  "about an hour or so."  She finished.

"No, you don't.  I already called your work and told them you were taking a sick day."  Roy explained.

"You... what?  How?"  Felicity questioned, tone angry.

"I used your cell."  He said simply.

"I can't believe you did that!" She scolded.

"Called you in sick or touched your phone?"  Roy asked half-jokingly, knowing she was freak about people touching her electronics.

"Both."  Felicity answered with a huff, crossing her arms as she did so.

"Look, don't be mad.  You just suffered a loss, you need at least today to rest and process everything.  If you feel up to it, you can go back in tomorrow.  Okay?"  Roy pleaded his case.

"Fine." Felicity sighed, knowing he was only trying to help and that she couldn't really stay mad at him for that.

On that note, Roy removed the pan he was using from the stove and dumped the contents onto a large plate.  He brought that plate over to the counter along with another smaller one and sat down across from Felicity.  Roy had made them each a plate of toast and a big helping of scrambled eggs to split between the two of them.

Felicity began nibbling on a piece of toast when she asked, "So, what did you do?"

"What?" Roy queried, not understanding the question.

"You only crash on my couch in the middle of the night when you fight with Thea."  She explained.  "So, what did you do?"

"Why do you assume it's my fault?"  He tossed back, feeling a little hurt but a lot amused at her comment.

"Because you're the guy." Felicity said, scooping some eggs onto her plate.

Roy chuckled softly and retorted, "Fair enough." then took a breath before continuing on.  "I may have refused some of her, um, sexual advances."

"What?" Felicity replied, nearly choking on her eggs.  "Why?"

"I, uh, you know what?  We don't have to talk about this.  It's fine."  Roy said, trying to end the conversation because it would undoubtedly upset her all over again when he explained himself, since it involved finding a certain something in the trash yesterday.

"Yes we do.  Now talk." She insisted.

"We just got into a stupid fight.  It was nothing."  He assured.

"Why won't you tell me?" She asked.

"Its...I...uh, the things is...."  He stuttered, looking for a way out.

Before he could, something clicked in Felicity's head and she knew why he was suddenly being evasive.

"It has something to do with the pregnancy test, doesn't it?"  She inquired.  When Roy just nodded, she went on.  "It's okay.  You can talk about it."

"Are you sure?" Roy wondered aloud.  "I mean, I don't wanna make you think about it and make you feel worse."

"It's not like I've forgotten what happened.  Honestly, I don't think I ever will." She explained.  "So, don't treat me like a fragile little... person each time the topic comes up."  Felicity finished, not able to bring herself to say the word baby like she had intended.

"Okay."  He nodded, folding a piece of his toast in half and shoving the whole thing into his mouth.

"Besides," She continued. "I am all cried out right now, not to mention emotionally drained, so I promise I won't explode on you."  She mustered up a small smile for assurance, but it didn't do much against her bloodshot eyes that had dark bags underneath providing her pale face with the only color it had.

Roy nodded, deciding to humor her anyway and proceeded to explain the situation with Thea.

"Well, the thing is, finding that test in the trash really freaked me out, even after you told me it was yours.  I mean, I was so relieved to hear that, but, deep down, something still bothered me.  Then, I realized it was because I knew that it so easily could have been Thea's test."

"What do you mean?"  She probed further, pushing her eggs around her plate as she listened.

"Well, we haven't been super careful lately, letting our hormones get the better of us and relying on her pills more than we should."

"Roy!" She reprimanded, then caught herself.  Who was she to criticize him for unsafe sex?  She was the poster woman for it of late.

"I know.  I've been stupid.  We both have.  That's why when we found ourselves in one of those situations last night at the club, I stopped it.  I didn't want to put her in a position like the one you were in."

"And she got mad."  Felicity said, smart enough to figure out the rest.

"Yeah, I mean, it didn't help that I couldn't explain myself very well without telling her the truth about you, but it is what it is.  She'll get over it eventually."  Roy sighed.

She watched Roy as he sat and picked at his plate.  He seemed so depressed about their fight and she didn't want to be the reason for it.  I mean, he said things would be fine, but what if they weren't?  What if they ended up breaking up?  She couldn't let that happen because of her making him keep secrets.  Someone deserved to be happy, so she knew she what she had to tell him.

"You need to talk to her again then,"  Felicity told him.  "and tell her about me this time."

"Seriously?" He asked stunned.

"I mean, leave out the part about Oliver, but yes." She clarified.

"But I thought you didn't want anyone to know?"  He reminded her.

"I don't...but your relationship is more important than my secret.  It shouldn't come between you two."  Felicity pointed out.

"Okay.  If you're sure?" Roy checked again.

She let out a shaky breath, then said, "Yes."

"Thanks." He said, then began eating the rest of his breakfast.

That sat in silence until they both finished.  Roy cleaned his plate and most of hers, then did the dishes as she curled up on the couch.

"You can lay on your bed, if you want."  Roy said.  "I stripped the sheets and put on fresh ones, while you were in the shower earlier."

"You didn't have to do that,"  She responded seriously.  "but I'm glad you did." Felicity knew she wouldn't have been able to handle cleaning that mess up herself.  Thank god, she had Roy.

"No problem."  He called, putting the last of the dishes away, then came over to sit in the plush chair that sat perpendicular to the couch that Felicity was now sitting up on.

"Can I get you anything else?"  He offered.

"I'm fine, Roy." She said with a small smile at his sweetness.

"What do you want to do then?" He questioned as he leaned back into the comfy chair.

"Well, _I_ am gonna try to get some sleep, while _you_ are gonna go talk to your girlfriend."  Felicity told him.

"I can't just leave you."  Roy said, tone laced with concern.

"Yes, you can.  I'm just gonna sleep for the rest of the day anyway."  She promised.

Roy thought for a long moment before replying, "I don't know.  What if something else happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen, but if it does or if I need anything, I will call you, okay?"

"Promise?" Roy retorted giving her a no-nonsense look.

"Scouts honor." Felicity answered, raising her right hand for effect.  "Not that I ever was a scout or whatever, but still."

Roy just smiled and shook his head, then rose to his feet.  Felicity followed suit and gave him a tight hug.

"Thanks for everything, little brother." She whispered into his ear.

"You're welcome big sis." He whispered back, then they released their hold on each other, and he made his way to the door.

After Roy left, Felicity made her way back to the bedroom, curled up under the fresh sheets, and let the tears silently trickle down her face until sleep overtook her body, which didn't take long, considering how exhausted she was after the night/morning she had just had.

What was next for Felicity, she didn't know, but she hoped for something good.  As far as she was concerned, she was way over due for something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been an emotional ride so far. I hope you are all hanging in there! There are gonna be at least two more chapters or one long one as of now. So, there isn't much to go. I promise to update again within a few days, ideally this weekend. So, stay with me and stay tuned! Please and thank you!


	5. A Great Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy has a long talk with Thea, and things get emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Theroy love. A little swearing. A lot of emotion. You've been warned! ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

Roy walked from Felicity's place to Thea's with his hands stuffed into his sweatshirt pockets as he tried to work out the knots in his stomach that had formed over the last few hours.  It was hard seeing his friend like that.  She was a mess at the hospital, crying her eyes out onto his shirt, and though she was better once she got home, Roy could easily see that she still wasn't her usual self.  Her depressed state, tired eyes, and pale skin made her seem almost ghostlike, making him wish he could breathe life back into her.  He knows she tried to reassure him that she was okay with a few smiles, but they were so weak it just made him sadder than her not smiling at all.

If there is one thing Roy has never understood about this world, its why bad things happen to good people, and the situation with Felicity was yet another example.  She is a young, innocent, hardworking woman who helps put away criminals in her spare time.  What could she have possibly done to deserve this?

The answer?  Nothing.  Losing your child is never a fair punishment no matter what you may have done.  At least that's how Roy saw it.

Roy  kept it together pretty well in front of Felicity, but now that he was alone and thinking about the situation, he could feel himself becoming more and more unhinged.  His heartbeat was picking up pace along with his feet and he clenched his jaw and balled his pocketed hands into fists.

He had been avoiding the passersby that walked past him pretty well, until he turned the next corner and smacked in to some guy.

"Watch it, dumb-ass!" The guy yelled.

The guy was a bit taller and more muscled than Roy, but that didn't stop him from getting right in his face and reply, "Or what, _jack_ ass?"

"Or I'll have to bruise that nice face of yours, pretty boy."  He replied condescendingly.

"You mean like this?" Roy asked before punching the guy across the face and splitting his lip.

The guy retaliated quickly, throwing a left hook which Roy blocked, then another, which Roy blocked again.  After blocking both punches, Roy shoved jack ass into the brick wall behind him and went for another punch, completely driven by rage.  Unfortunately, the punch went a bit wide allowing jack ass to catch it with his hand.  As he wrenched Roy's arm away, he used his other to effectively punch Roy in the face, giving him a bloody nose.  As Roy fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands, jack ass took off down the sidewalk, snickering and yelling.  "Later, pretty boy!"

Roy's nose throbbed and bled, but luckily it wasn't broken.  So, Roy covered it with the arm of his jacket, trying to stop the bleeding as he made his way another two blocks to Thea's place.

He used the key Thea made him a couple weeks ago and let himself in.  He went to the kitchen and grabbed a wet cloth to dab his nose with.  His shirt absorbed most of the blood, so it wasn't bleeding too heavily anymore, thankfully.

"Roy?"  Said a groggy voice.

He turned to find Thea standing there with messy bed-hair, wearing a tank top and yoga pants.  He figured his rummaging around the kitchen must have woken her, after all, she was a light sleeper.

"What are you- oh my god! Are you okay?"  Thea asked, tone laced with concern as she ran over to him.

"I'm fine."  He promised.

"You don't look fine." She said, grabbing his chin and angling his face to get a better look at his nose, which was already beginning to bruise.  "Here, let me."  She added, taking the cloth from him with her free hand and dabbing at his nose.  Roy flinched from the pain it initially caused, but let her continue.  "So, what happened?"  She asked, moving the cloth along his chin and draw to mop up excess blood.

"I was upset and some jack ass got in my face.  I know I should have just walked away, but I let my anger get the better of me.  It was stupid."  He explained.

"What were you upset about?  Our fight?"  Thea inquired.

"No...well, yeah.  I mean, sort of."  Roy responded, trying to figure out the best way to go about this conversation.

"Wow.  With descriptions like that you should be a writer."  She suggested sarcastically as she tossed the bloodied rag in the sink.

Roy smirked for half a second then let it drop.  His heart was too heavy to make it last any longer.

"All right, Roy.  What's going on with you and why does it have you covered in blood and mascara stains?"  She queried, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the island and nodded toward his shirt.

He looked down and saw the black smudges on his chest that she was referring to.

"I can explain."  He said.

"You better." Thea retorted sassily with a hint of anger.  She wasn't really mad though, she knew he would never cheat on her or anything.  She was just concerned and frustrated over his recent behavior and wanted some answers.

He paused a moment to remove his soiled jacket and toss it in the trash, leaving him in a basic white tee.  Looking to Thea once more, he began to clarify the situation.

"The mascara stains are from me consoling... a friend."  Roy finished.  Felicity said he could tell Thea about her situation, and he knew he had to do just that to make Thea understand, but he just didn't feel right about advertising Felicity's personal problems, so he figured he would just keep her name out of it. That way everybody wins.

"Oh... is she okay?"  Thea inquired.

"Not really.  The thing is, she recently found out she was pregnant and has been freaking out about what to do.  The father isn't in the picture, so she is pretty much on her own, and she's so young and unprepared and basically scared out of her mind."  Roy answered.

"I would be too, if I were her, but there are lots of option there... abortion, adoption..."  She trailed off, trying to be positive for her obviously pessimistic boyfriend.

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore."  Roy said solemnly, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. Thea gave him a questioning look and he went on. "I went to see her last night after our fight and she... she lost the baby."

"Oh my god."  Thea whispered.  "That's terrible."

"I held her for two hours while she cried in my arms, mourning the loss of her child.  She was so helpless, and I... I never felt more powerless in my life."  He revealed, as stray tears slid down his cheeks.

"Oh, Roy..."  Thea said, moving forward and wrapping her arms around him as she fought back her own tears.  "There was nothing you could've done...these things just happen sometimes."

"But why did it have to happen to her?  She's a good person.  It's just not fair!" He all but yelled as another round of tears fell.

"Hey, look at me."  She said, pulling back to see his face and cradle it between her small hands.  Wiping his tears away with her thumbs, she began to speak once again.  "I'm so sorry about your friend.  She is going through something so painful and unimaginable right now, and we will probably never know why.  Maybe it's God's plan, or maybe shit just happens.  All I know for sure is that you were there for her in her time of need and that meant the world to her.  You may not think you did enough, but trust me, you did more than you know.  You are a great friend, Roy Harper."  Thea gave him a sweet smile as she rested her forehead against his.

They stood there a moment, silently wiping each other's tears away when Thea gave him a small peck on the lips to comfort him.  He then kissed her back harder and long to which she responded gratefully.  Before she knew it, he was backing her up and lifting her to sit on top of the island behind her as they made out.  It wasn't until her hands roamed underneath his tee-shirt, that he pulled away.

"Whoa." He said.

"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean--"  Thea began, flushing with embarrassment.

"It's okay.  It wasn't you... it was us.  We tend to get carried away with each other."  Roy explained, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, we do."  She nodded as she played with hairs at the nape of his neck.  "But that's a good thing right?"

"Of course." He assured, absentmindedly stroking her thighs with his fingers.  "I love you, Thea, and I love getting carried away with you."

"Then why do you keep stopping it?  I mean, I get why you wouldn't want to now, and I promise I didn't intend for things to escalate like they did, but... the time before that... you stopped it, and I just don't understand why."

Roy let out a breath before answering, "I found out that my friend was pregnant just yesterday by finding her test in the trash at the club.  At first, I thought it was yours because of the location and because we haven't exactly been very careful lately, but when I confided to my friend about it, she told me the truth...that it was hers.  I felt better at first after hearing this, but seeing the fear in her eyes over what to do next, it freaked me out all over again, and I realized that I didn't want to be responsible for putting you in the same position, at least, not while we're so young.

Thea smiled at that last bit with his implication of wanting to have a baby with her one day just not now, but it quickly fell as she went to respond, "I get it, and you're right.  We have been a little lax on the contraception thing, and that needs to stop, but for the record, I've never missed a day with my pills.  Know why?  Because I don't want us in that position either...not until someday in the future when we're absolutely ready."

"Good to know."  Roy half-smiled, excited about the possibilities of their distant future and that Thea has thought about them too.  He stared at Thea for a long moment as she gave a brief smile then gnawed on her bottom lip nervously while avoiding his eyes.  "What is it?"  He asked.

Looking into his eyes, she replied, "It's just...you mentioned how freaked out you were about our relationship when you found out about your friend being pregnant, and if that freaked you out that much, I can only imagine how you felt last night after...you know."  She finished unable to say the words "lost the baby," but Roy knew what she meant anyway.

"Yeah, that was rough too.  I don't know if I could have handled that situation if it was you on that hospital bed."  Roy admitted.

"Well, I'm sorry I put you in the position to make you worry so much about that happening to us."  Thea apologized.

"I wasn't just you.  I wasn't doing my part either."  Roy took his share of the blame.

"From now on, that changes.  From here on out we have to promise to take all proper precautions and be careful.  Deal?" Thea stated as she hopped down from the counter and stuck out a hand.

"Deal."  Roy repeated, shaking her hand, then pulling her into his warm embrace.

They stood their hugging for a long moment as she rested her head against his chest and listened to his heart pound over and over again.  Meanwhile, he rested his chin contently atop her head, wishing this moment would last forever.

The silence was broken when Thea wondered aloud, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Hmmm?"  Roy queried.

"For your friend.  I want to do something for her, something to help."  Thea elaborated.

"Join the club."  Roy retorted dryly.  "Unfortunately, I think all she needs right now is some time to herself."

"You're probably right,"  Thea agreed.  "but as her friend, you should check in on her now and then for the next couple of days."

"Right, and I will."  He said.  "I just wish I knew the right thing to say about all this."

"Are you guys close?"  She questioned.

"Yeah." Roy answered with a shrug.

"Then, you'll figure it out."  Thea said certainly.  "When the moment comes, you will know the right thing to say."

"You have a lot of faith in me, don't you?"  Roy stated with a smile.

"Of course I do."  She assured, lifting her head up to look him in the eyes.  "You're a good guy, Roy Harper, and a great friend."  She finished, rising to her tip toes to kiss him softly on the cheek.  "And a pretty amazing boyfriend to boot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. Important for what comes next....the FINAL chapter. What to expect? A time jump and the return of a certain someone! ;) Things are about to get intense!


	6. Making Up For Lost Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver comes back, some lies are told, and a truth is revealed. Will Oliver and Felicity be able to make up for lost time or is it already too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The FINAL chapter. Sorry you guys had to wait so long for it, but better late than never! Right? lol. Anyway, I apologize for any errors. Read, enjoy, and feel free to comment your thoughts! ;)

It had been four months since Felicity lost the baby.  She was doing better, but the depression still came and went, especially when she thought of what could've been.  For instance, today she would have been 23 weeks along.  She would have been in the middle of her second trimester and her belly would have been visibly protruding with life...except she wasn't and it wasn't, and that fact did not sit well with her at all.

However, Felicity found that it helped to keep busy with work from both her day job and night job.  Distractions were key to helping her move past this, at least that's what she told herself.  It also helped to have Roy on her side.  He always knew how to lift her spirits when she was feeling low, mostly with Big Belly Burger and _Supernatural_ reruns.  He truly was a good guy and the best brother she never had.

Then there was Diggle.  He was also a good guy, but this one she made sure to keep clueless, lying to him only when necessary for the sake of her own sanity.  After the incident, she played sick for three days before going back to work, though it didn't really require much faking.  For those days, she had convinced Diggle that she had had the flu, and he had seemed to buy it.  Then, on the fourth day, when Felicity saw him for their night job for the first time since their talk about her options, he of course wasted no time checking in with her about her situation.  She felt bad about it, but she just couldn't tell him the truth for fear of falling apart all over again.  So, she lied and told him that the test had, in fact, been a false positive.  Again, he seemed to buy it, telling her that if she needed to talk about it, he was there for her.  Felicity had thanked Digg, assuring him she was fine and that it was better this way, which was probably the most truthful thing she told him during their entire conversation and even then, she figured that was only half true.

Despite her emotional struggles, Felicity felt like life was finally starting to get back to normal as she sat at her designated work area in the arrow cave, spitting out commands to the voices in her ear as the team worked to stop a burglary in progress at a local pawn shop. 

Felicity had hacked into the surveillance feed to get a better idea of what was going on and to help give the guys an advantage over the thugs.  She had informed Digg and Roy that there were three of them and where they were at exactly in the room.  The guys, with their level training, took out the thugs easily, leaving them tied up and unconscious for the police to find who were about two minutes away.

As Diggle and Roy returned to the lair and hung up their weapons on the artillery wall, Felicity turned in her chair and said, "Good job, guys.  Dream Team: 1, Baddies: 0."

"More like, Dream Team: 500."  Diggle noted sarcastically.

"Yeah, that's what?  Our..."  Roy paused for a moment in thought.  "fourth burglary this week?"

"Don't forget about the two drug busts we initiated."  Diggle added.

"And the weapons deal we intervened on."  Felicity chimed in.

"It's like the city is getting even worse with each passing week, especially here in the Glades."  Roy stated the obvious.

"That's precisely what's happening."  Diggle agreed.  "And I know why."

"Oliver."  Felicity blurted, knowing both guys would avoid saying his name for her sake, but she wanted to prove that she was okay and moving on, so she just said it herself.

"Exactly."  Diggle answered.  "No one has seen The Arrow in months, so all the lowlifes out there figure he's gone."

"Making it prime crime time."  Felicity said, agreeing with Diggle's explanation.  The guys just gave her an amused look, causing her cheeks to flush and she quickly added, "Sorry.  It rhymed and yeah...I'll shut up now."  Felicity said, cutting her babble short, causing both men to chuckle.

"But were still here.  Why aren't they scared of us?"  Roy asked, feeling confused and offended.

"Because as skilled as we are, we just don't have Oliver's training...or ruthlessness." Diggle responded.

"To be fair, The Hood was the brutal one.  The Arrow was much more level headed, at least for the most part."  Felicity defended.

"Yeah, but both were the same guy and share one reputation."  Diggle tossed back.

"So?"  Roy chimed in.

" _So_... given the things he had done in the past, the bad guys out there know what he's capable of, and they obviously think we aren't capable of the same things." Diggle explained.

"Because we aren't."  Felicity added.  "That's not who we are or what our team is about."

"So, what do we do about this increase in criminal activity?"  Roy questioned, knowing they needed to do something and soon.

"I don't know."  Diggle answered uncertainly.  "Maybe increase patrol hours?"

"No."  Felicity immediately retorted.  "You two are already pulling overtime as it is...and one of you has a family to take care of." She spoke the last bit pointedly at Diggle.

"Well, what if I wear the green suit next time we go out?"  Roy offered.  "That way, all the bad guys will think The Arrow has returned and they'll lay low."

"Not a bad idea."  Diggle said.  "Except for the fact that Oliver was almost twice your size.  I mean, even if we can get the suit to fit you well enough, they'll probably notice the change in stature."

"You know, you could always wear the suit, Digg."  Felicity interrupted, half-teasing, yet half-serious.  "It's not like you haven't done it before."

"Yeah and last time I could barely get the damn thing on."  Diggle huffed.  "I don't know how you guys wear those things.  They're so tight-fitting."

"They certainly are."  Felicity agreed before she could stop herself.  "I...er...I mean, I've patched you guys up enough after missions to notice the fit of your suits, that's all.  I certainly haven't been checking anyone out or anything.  That would just be weird and very inappropriate."  She babbled on.

Roy laughed out loud while Diggle smiled and shook his head before replying,  "It's okay, Felicity.  We get it."

"Good."  Felicity nodded, crossing her arms as she leaned against the table behind her.  What she said wasn't a total lie.  She had noticed things about their uniforms when she tended their wounds, but she noticed a whole lot more from staring at Oliver's ass in those leather pants.  She just couldn't help herself, especially during the times when he would get distracted mid-change and end up walking around shirtless with only the leather pants and his boots covering him.  The memory of her ogling him made her feel silly but also happy.  Unfortunately, it also made her heart twinge with pain.

"So, what's the plan then?"  Roy queried, getting the group back on topic.  "Is someone wearing the Arrow suit or not?

" _Nobody_ is wearing my suit."  Interjected a deep voice.

Suddenly everyone's heads snapped toward the staircase to see familiar face make his way down the steps.

"Oliver?"  Diggle asked in disbelief.

"Oliver!" Felicity yelled before running to meet him at the bottom of the stairs and flinging her arms around him.

Oliver embraced her whole-heartedly.  Her tight grip was making his wounds hurt, but he rather suffer the pain then push her away.  He had waited too long for this moment to cut it short.

The tears rushed down her cheeks as she babbled.  "I'm so glad you are okay, I thought you were never coming back, I thought you were gone, I thought....I thought..."

"Shhhhh."  Oliver cut her off as he tried to soothe her by rubbing her back and whispering.  "It's okay.  I'm here.  I'm right here."

After a couple of minutes, Felicity pulled herself together and let go of Oliver, stepping back to study his features.  His stubble had grown in a good bit and his eyes were tired and she sensed during their hug that he was in pain, but he was here.  He was alive....and right now that was all that mattered.

She made her way back across the room and sat in her leather computer chair as Oliver greeted Roy and Diggle.  The scene was sweet and made her tear up again.

As she sat and heard Oliver give a rundown of what happened with Ra's, she couldn't help but study his face and wonder.  Would the baby have had his grey-blue eyes?  Or his structured jaw line?  Maybe the baby would have had his cute dimples.  The longer she stared at him, the more questions she had pop into her brain about their baby and their life that could have been, and each one was like a hammer to her heart.

"Hey."  Oliver said softly, realizing that something was wrong.  He went to place a comforting hand on her, but as he reached for her, Felicity rolled her chair backward to avoid his touch and said, "Don't."

The coldness of her voice made Oliver feel very confused and concerned.  "Felicity, what's wrong?"

Seeing the sadness in his eyes, Felicity felt bad for pulling away, but she just couldn't let him do it.  She couldn't let him touch her.  If he touched her right now, she would lose it.  She would fall apart as his touch would undoubtedly trigger the memory of the touches they shared before he left, the intimate touches that created a life inside her only to be lost forever.

"I - I don't feel well.  I need to go home."  She said, and then, without another word, she grabbed her purse and rushed out of the building.

"What was that about?"  He said, looking to Diggle and Roy for some answers.

"PMS?"  Roy shrugged, not willing to divulge the truth and break Felicity's trust.

Oliver just shot him a look, then turned to Digg who began to speak.

"Look, Oliver, the truth is Felicity went through a rough patch shortly after you left, and now that you're back, I think all those feelings she had before are coming back."

"I don't understand.  I mean, I knew my leaving wouldn't be easy on you guys...it definitely wasn't easy on me, but..."

"It wasn't just that you left her..."  Diggle tried to explain.

"Yeah, it was more like how you left her."  Roy chimed in dryly.

Oliver slowly closed his eyes and opened them before responding,  "So, you know then?  About...us?"

"Yeah,"  Diggle answered.  "and apparently you guys weren't too careful, which gave Felicity quite a scare."

"I know, it was stupid of me to-- wait...a scare?  Is she pregnant?"  Oliver asked in disbelief as he quickly tried to do the math in his head and figure out how far along she would be.

"Relax.  It was a false positive."  Diggle assured him.

"It was?"  Oliver questioned, looking toward Roy.

"Uh, yeah, I mean that's what I heard her tell Digg."  Roy said, not technically lying to his friend, but not telling him the truth either.

Oliver let out a long breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, then after a quiet moment he spoke once more.

"I should probably go talk to her."  Oliver told them.

"Don't."  Roy blurted, earning himself some quizzical looks from his friends.  "I mean, I just think that what she really needs right now is some space."

"He's right."  Diggle agreed.  "And _you_ clearly need some rest.  Why don't you get some sleep and you can talk to Felicity tomorrow."  He suggested.

"I'm not tired."  Oliver argued.

"Then maybe you should go and visit your sister.  You know, she's pretty pissed at you for disappearing on her... _again_."  Roy noted.

"Thea."  Oliver stated, remembering he hadn't seen his sister yet.  "What have you told her exactly?  About my whereabouts?"

"Nothing."  Roy stated.  "Though I should have told her everything."

"No, you did the right thing."  Oliver assured.  "Thea can't know about this life."

"Why not?"  Roy questioned.

"Because... it's too dangerous."  Oliver explained.

"We can protect her."  Roy argued.  "Besides, she's tougher than you think."

"Not tough enough."  He tossed back.

"Oliver's right."  Diggle interjected.

"Thank you."  Oliver nodded curtly.

"So, Oliver, next time you go out on a suicide mission and actually die, how would you like us to handle Thea?  Should we break her heart and tell her the truth you never could or let her live the rest of her life with the pain of not knowing if or when you are ever coming back?"  Diggle asked, tone dripping with sarcasm.

"You don't really think I am right, I get it." Oliver answered, avoiding his question.

"Do you, Oliver?"  Diggle inquired, giving him the most serious look he could muster.

There was a moment of silence and Oliver just stood there in thought about Thea.  He knew the guys were right.  Thea deserved to know the truth and she should hear it from him before it's too late.  Oliver kept too many secrets from her and this one was not only straining _their_ relationship, but also Thea's relationship with Roy, and that wasn't fair to them.

"Okay."  Oliver said finally.  "I'll try to come clean with Thea, but I am not making any promises."  He finished stubbornly.

"That's all we ask." Diggle confirmed, clasping him on the shoulder good-naturedly.  "Right, Roy?"

"Right."  Roy answered, still looking a bit sullen and barely meeting Oliver's eyes.

Oliver knew something was eating at his partner in red, but he had enough on his plate right now between his sister and his... Felicity.  Plus, he was pretty exhausted.  So, he made a mental note to check in with Roy tomorrow and bid his friends good bye.

As he made his way out of the building and to Thea's apartment, he sighed heavily.  He thought the hard part would have been fighting Ra's, but that seems to be a cake-walk compared to what he has a head of him after coming back:  two pissed off women and an emotionally distraught Roy.  Yeah... he rather duel it out with Ra's again, most definitely.

*******

By the next morning, Thea knew the whole truth and was actually okay with it.  Of course, she was mad at first because Oliver had been lying to her for so long, but assured him that she was also proud of him for being The Arrow.  Oliver was shocked at that.  Anger he expected.  Pride?  Yeah, not so much, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

By the afternoon, Oliver made his way to Palmer Technologies, hoping to talk to Felicity on her lunch break.  He was up half the night, figuring out what to say to her and what he wanted from her.  Oliver knew that he was falling for her, he had been for a while now.  Oh, who was he kidding?  He was already on the ground with his feet planted firmly and arms out and ready to catch her.  That is,  if she was falling too.  He was pretty sure that she was, at least he hoped so.  Oliver had been so afraid of his feelings for Felicity for so long, but when he knew he might not make it back, he threw caution to the wind and let himself breathe her in and get lost in her as well as the moment.  Then, after almost dying, Oliver knew that he needed to make it back and make her an official part of his life.  There would be no more denying himself happiness, life was too short for that, which he knew all too well.

"Felicity?"  Oliver called after he knocked gently on the glass door to her office and poked his head instead.

"Oliver."  Felicity said, sounding surprised.  "Come in.  Is everything okay?"

Oliver walked forward, letting the door close shut behind him and said, "I'm not sure.  Can we talk?"

"Uh, sure."  She answered, coming from around her desk and gesturing to the stuffed chairs that sat in front.  "What's up?"

Once they were sitting with their chairs angled toward each other, Oliver spoke again.

"I told Thea everything."  He began.

"Wow."  Felicity retorted.  "How'd she take it?"

"Pretty well actually."  He replied.

"Good.  That's good."  She responded.  "I bet you feel a lot better now."

"I do."  Oliver affirmed, remembering how after his conversation with his sister, he felt like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  "It's nice not having any secrets between me and Thea, except... there is one thing that I didn't tell her."

"Oh?"  Felicity inquired, waiting for him to go on.

"I didn't tell her about you...I mean, _us_.  Not that there _is_ an us, but... I would really like there to be."  He finished his thought.

"You would?"  She managed to choke out as her heart began to pick up its pace.

"Yeah." He answered with a small smile.  "Would you?"  He returned the question innocently.

"I-I..."  Felicity stuttered, wanting deep down to say yes, but knowing that right now, after everything that's happened, she just couldn't.  "no."

Confusion flooded Oliver's face immediately along with sadness, which pained Felicity, making her want to explain.

"Look, Oliver...what happened between us was amazing, but I think it would be best if we forgot it ever happened.  I'm just not in a good place right now to be in relationship, there are things I'm dealing with...."  She trailed off, avoiding his eyes as she revealed the latter, willing away the tears that were slowly beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes while she played with the hem of her dress to distract her brain from the inner pain she was feeling.

"I know."  He confessed, which caused Felicity's head to snap back up in Oliver's direction.

"You know?"  Felicity questioned as her heart began to beat rapidly.  She was so not ready for this conversation.

"Diggle told me you have been having a rough time lately.  He also told me about the scare you had, and, Felicity, you have to know how sorry I am for putting you in that position.  I should have protected you, but I just wanted you so badly that I got carried away and--"

"It's okay."  Felicity interrupted, thankful he only had Diggle's version of events.  "I don't blame you.  I could have stopped it too."

"Well, luckily it was a false alarm and there's nothing more to worry about."  Oliver noted.

"Right.  Lucky us."  Felicity said offering a smile that fell flat.

Though she tried to hide it, Oliver could sense a heaviness hanging over Felicity and wished she would open up more about whatever was bothering her, but he wouldn't pry.  After all, it wasn't any of his business, but even so...

"Felicity, whatever you are going through right now, you know I am here for you." He promised, placing his large, rough hand overtop her smaller, daintier one for assurance.  "Whether you need to talk or--

"I know."  Felicity cut him off quickly.  "I..."  She paused a moment and decided that this had to stop.  She couldn't take any more of his sweet words or how the warmth of his palm made her feel things.  It was all too much.  "I should go back to work."  Felicity said abruptly as she stood up and retrieved her hand from Oliver's grip to quickly wipe away a stray tear from her face, effectively ending the conversation.

Oliver stood with her, understanding that she wasn't ready to let him in and commented, "Okay.  I'll just see you later then."

Felicity didn't respond except for giving a small nod along with a pathetic half-smile.

Oliver returned the sentiment politely and exited the way he came.

Once he was in the elevator and out of sight, Felicity plopped back into the chair and let the tears fall freely as she wondered how long she could keep up this facade around Oliver.  The twist of her gut told her that her night job was about to get a lot more difficult.

*******

Apparently "see you later" was some sort of code for "see you in a few days" because it had been four days since his chat with Felicity at her office, and Oliver still hadn't seen her.  She either called in sick or was too busy with work stuff to show up for the night shift with them.  Oliver was angry.  He needed her here, he _wanted_ her here, and had a good feeling her excuses were just that: excuses.  However, Oliver knew deep down that something else was going on with her, so, during Felicity's first absence, when Diggle told him to relax and just give her some time, Oliver listened, though he wasn't happy about it by any means.

But now, it was night three with no Felicity and Oliver was way passed unhappy; he was pissed.

"We could have had HIM!"  Oliver barked, slamming his fist on a table in the Arrow Cave that was covered in papers and blueprints, research from this week's different cases.  "We _should_ have had him."  He growled angrily, thinking about how they lost the target mid-chase and how they probably would have been able to find him if they had Felicity here, searching through traffic cam feed.  Anger boiled beneath his skin , causing him to swipe everything on the table right onto the floor in one heated motion.

"Oliver, calm down."  Diggle told him as he placed a hand  on his shoulder from behind.  "We'll get him next time."

Oliver turned around, knocking Diggle's hand off of him and took a deep, calming breath before responding curtly, "Not if we don't have Felicity."

"I told you, she will come around.  She just needs --" Diggle started but didn't get to finish.

"Time?  Yeah, I know, but we need her _now_."  Oliver retorted.

"He's right, Digg." Roy finally spoke up as he crossed his arms and leaned against a file cabinet a few feet away from them.  "It's one thing letting these small threats get away, but what happens when a bigger threat shows up?  And we all know it's just a matter of time."

"All right, all right.  For the sake of the city, I'll try talking to her."  Diggle said.

"No."  Oliver replied adamantly.  "It should be me.  I'm pretty sure at least part of what is troubling her is my fault."  Oliver paused to let out a huff as he rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.  "I just wish I knew what was going on with her, so I knew what to say."

 _"When the moment comes, you will know the right thing to say,"_ Thea's words suddenly echoed inside Roy's head, causing him to swallow nervously.

"I think I can help with that."  Roy said sheepishly as he stood up straighter and dropped his arms to his sides.  He loved Felicity like a sister and didn't want to betray her trust, but he also loved Oliver like a brother, which caused the truth he'd been keeping to himself to eat away at him ever since Oliver had returned home, but now, seeing how hiding the truth was hurting more than helping both Felicity and Oliver, Roy knew he had to do something.  Watching Oliver look so pained and helpless had triggered Thea's words inside his head for a reason and with that, Roy knew that this was the moment Thea was talking about, and he knew exactly what the right thing to say was.

"What are you talking about?"  Diggle questioned.

"What do you know, Roy?" Oliver asked after a beat.

"The truth."  Roy admitted, taking a few steps toward them.  "I know the truth about Felicity's pregnancy."

"You mean almost pregnancy."  Diggle amended.

Roy let out a deep breath and said, "No... I mean pregnancy."  He then looked to Oliver and added.  "There was no false-positive, Oliver.  Felicity was pregnant."

"Was?" Oliver queried, voice sounding too soft and fragile for a man of his stature, like he was afraid of the answer he already knew was coming.

"Yeah, _was_." Roy answered, emphasizing the latter.  Then, the room became eerily quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

*******

After Roy went through the whole story of the night Felicity lost the baby, the room was eerily quiet once more as Diggle and Oliver let this new information sink in.

"I should have known."  Diggle spoke first, clearly irritated of himself.  "How did I not put this together sooner?"

"Because she didn't want you too."  Roy shrugged.  "Besides, you've been busy focusing on your own baby."

"As you should've been."  Oliver assured.  "It's me who should have realized sooner.  I knew there was more bothering her than she let on, but this... I just never expected... why wouldn't she tell me the truth?"  Oliver wonder aloud, voicing the several thoughts that were running through his head.

"I think it's easier for her to keep it to herself." Roy stated. 

"If no one knows and she doesn't talk about it, then she can pretend it never happened."  Diggle said in understanding, and Roy just nodded.

"But why wouldn't she tell _me_?  I am-I _was_ \- the..." Oliver hesitated, finding it hard to finish the sentence and just swallowed as Digg finished it for him saying, "Father."

"Yeah."  Oliver replied half-heartedly.

"I don't know."  Roy answered truthfully.  "But if it makes you feel any better, I was the only one who knew and that's only because I was at the right place at the right time."

Silence filled the room for yet another long moment, until Oliver stepped forward and clasped Roy on the shoulder as he said, "Thank you, Roy."

"For telling you the truth?"  Roy inquired.

"For being there for Felicity."  Oliver explained, giving his arm a squeeze and offering a small smile before walking past him toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Diggle queried.

Oliver stopped and turned half way to look back at his friends before answering, "First, I'm gonna change out of my suit, and then I'm gonna go talk to Felicity."

"Good luck." Diggle said to Oliver's super suit-clad back as he watched him exit the main area of the lair, and he really meant it.  He truly hoped that the two of them would be able to work things out and get through this together.  Lord knows, they deserved to be happy.

*******

Once Oliver was cleaned up and redressed in his white t-shirt, dark brown leather jacket, and jeans, he rode his motorcycle over to Felicity's apartment.  He took his time and collected his thoughts as he made his way up the three flights of stairs and down the hall.  By the time he made it to her door, he still had no idea what he was going to say, so he decided to wing it.

He knocked on the door quickly but quietly, and then waited a few beats.  He heard  a muffled voice say something along the lines of "just a minute" and then the sound of feet shuffling toward the door.  Within seconds, the door opened revealing Felicity, blond hair hanging down all disheveled, dressed in colorful pajama pants covered in little nesting dolls and an MIT t-shirt that has seen better days.  However, what Oliver noticed the most was her eyes, sans glasses and all red and puffy like she'd been crying.  It pained him to see her like that.  He needed to fix this; he had to.

"Oliver."  She said, making it sound like a statement and a question all at the same time.

"Hey."  He spoke softly, giving her half a smile.

"Hey." She repeated.  "Is everything okay?"

"We need to talk."  Oliver said, not missing a beat.  "Again."

Felicity didn't say a word, but took a step back and opened the door wider, signaling for him to come inside, a command he was more than willing to obey.  After shutting the door, She turned toward Oliver and stood there with arms hugging herself, waiting for him to speak.

"I have been confused lately.  Ever since I came back, there has been this wall between us, and I just couldn't figure out why.  When you told me about the pregnancy scare, things became more clear, but they were still pretty blurry.  You were still avoiding me and lacking that Felicity glow, that lightness about you that made you...you."

Felicity offered the smallest smile at that comment, but stayed silent.

"It killed me to see you like that and not understand what was going on or know how to fix it.  I felt so helpless... until tonight... when I talked to Roy.  He told me everything, Felicity." He paused for a moment and watched tear trickle down her cheek before asking, "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

"I wanted to at first, but I just couldn't." Felicity answered, avoiding his eyes as she made her way over to the plush living room chair and sat down.  "It hurt too much."  She wiped away some stray tears then continued.  "And then, after a while, I just didn't know how."

"You just tell the truth, you've always been good at that."  Oliver told her, think back to all the times she was brutally honest with him to give him the push he needed to do the right thing.

"The truth? You want the truth, Oliver?"  Felicity asked, looking up at Oliver who was now standing in front of her, but didn't wait for a response.  "The truth is that I was emotionally wrecked when you never came back.  The truth is that I was alone and scared and pregnant and had no idea what to do.  But the real truth?  The real truth is that I wasn't strong enough to protect our baby.  I wasn't strong enough and now he or she is dead.  Our baby is dead, and it's all my fault."  Felicity choked out between sobs, before letting the tears rush down her face full force as she leaned forward and cried into the palms of her hands.

Oliver squatted down to be eye level with her and placed his hands on the sides of her arms just below the shoulders, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs as he spoke, "Hey, look at me. Look at me."  He repeated until she complied.  "What happened was not your fault, Felicity.  You hear me?"

Felicity just shrugged and looked down, so Oliver moved a hand to cup her cheek and make her meet his eyes again.  As he wiped away a tear, he told her, "You, Felicity Megan Smoak, are the strongest person I have ever met.  What happened was not because of you.  Sometimes... sometimes things just happen and we have no control over it, but we can control how we react, and that is what defines us and makes us who we are.  Someone I love taught me that."

"You still love me?  After knowing everything?"  Felicity questioned.

"Felicity, nothing could change the way I feel about you."  Oliver smiled, but it fell a second later when Felicity pushed his hands away and stood up, saying "Don't.  Just don't."

"Don't what?"  Oliver queried, rising to meet her.  "Don't tell you that I love you?  Don't tell you that when I was on the brink of death, all I could think about was you?  Don't tell you that it was the thought of seeing you again who kept me going, who kept me fighting to get back home?"

"YES!" She shouted.  "Don't say any of that or anything else!  Please!"

"I don't understand..." Oliver trailed off, wearing a hurt look on his face.

"When you say those things, it just makes it harder."  Felicity tried to explain.

"Makes what harder?"  He inquired, feeling completely lost at the moment.

"Telling you that we can't do this, that we can't be an us."  She told him, wiping away tears for the umpteenth time tonight.  She was surprised she wasn't all cried out by now.

"Why can't we?"  He probed further.

"Because I can barely look at you, Oliver.  Because every time I do, I think of our baby and whether or not he would have had your steel blue eyes or whether she would have had your dimples and perfect smile.  When I look at you, I wonder what could have been, and it tears me up inside.  That's why I kept avoiding you and ditching night missions, that's why I can't be with you right now, and maybe not ever."

Those words cut Oliver deep, especially the last few.  It reminded him of when he told her the same thing under different circumstances, but he was wrong then and she was wrong now.

"No, that's exactly why you should be with me right now."  Oliver argued.

"What?" Felicity asked in confusion as she pushed some strands of hair back behind her ear that had been sticking to the wet skin on her cheek.

"Felicity, that night when Roy took you to the hospital, you lost something precious...and so did I.  _You_ didn't lose a baby.  _We_ did.  And I know I wasn't there before, but I am now.  So, let me be here for you," He said, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly.  "and you can be here for me, and we can both grieve _together_ , we can both get through this _together_."  Oliver finished, giving her hands a loving squeeze on the words "together" to emphasize his point.

Felicity took a deep breath and stared at him for a long moment.  The tears were still streaming down her cheeks and they probably would continue to do so for the rest of the night, just like they had every night this week and every night since she lost the baby.  Clearly she wasn't healing well on her own.  Maybe Oliver was right, maybe the only way to get through this was to lean on each other.  Or maybe being with him would make things even more unbearable like she originally thought.  While Felicity's mind felt confused, her gut was not, and so she knew deep down there was really no choice to make.

"Together." She finally nodded, giving him a watery smile and a squeeze back.

Oliver smiled then pulled her in closer, kissing her forehead gently before leaning his head against hers.  They stood like that for a long minute, hand in hand, forehead against forehead, both just being there for the other.  It wasn't until Felicity placed a soft kiss against his lips that Oliver felt a wetness against his own cheek.  He kissed her back once more, a bit longer and a bit more forceful this time, but he made sure not to take it too far.

Then, without breaking her hold on him, Felicity took a step back, and another, and another... until she was pulling him across the open kitchen-living room area toward the hallway.  As she walked backward, she looked at him and said, "Stay with me?"  Oliver simply smiled and nodded and let her continue to pull him forward.  Felicity smiled back and led him down the hall to the bedroom.

Once inside, Felicity took a few more backwards steps until she felt her bed behind her and sat down.  She used her grip on Oliver to pull his upper body downward until he was bent so his face was level with hers and then she kissed him once more, again a little longer and a little more forceful than the last.  After that, she smiled once more and let go of him so she could crawl under the silky, emerald green covers.

Oliver took a moment to remove his jacket and jeans before climbing in next to her.  Once under the covers, he wrapped his muscular arms around her and pulled her in closer so her back was snug to his front

Not quite comfortable enough, Felicity turned around to face Oliver and snuggled into his chest so she could listen to the soothing sound of his heartbeat.  As she drifted off to sleep, she could feel Oliver planting one last kiss on the top of her head as his fingers drew random patterns across her back.

In that moment, as they lay tangled up in each other's warm embrace and let their tears run their courses, they both felt a mixture of emotions flow through their body, from sadness and grief from losing each other as well as their child to happiness and relief from finding each other once more and a new strength within themselves to give the other in this time of need.

If there was one thing they learned from all of this, it was that they not only made each other stronger as an individual, but that they were stronger together.... stronger, better, and much much happier.

*******

For the next two months, Oliver spent his nights at Felicity's place where they helped each other mourn and begin to heal.  They even began going out on dates every Friday, trying form some sort of normal dating relationship.

On the first Friday they went out, Oliver surprised Felicity with a gift.  It was a delicate, silver bracelet with an arrow head charm and a heart-shaped charm dangling from it, similar to the necklace he had made for baby Sara a while back.  Felicity had loved it and because he loved her and the way his small gift made her smile, Oliver gave her a new charm each week.  After six weeks, Felicity had six new charms on her bracelet, including the state of Nevada (her home-state), a pen (representing the one she chewed on the first time they met), a laptop (representing her love for computers), the Star of David (representing her Jewish roots), a sun (representing her being the light in his life), and, her personal favorite, and angel (representing their child in heaven).  Tonight was week eight and as they sat at a fancy restaurant in fancy clothes, sipping from fancy wine glasses, Felicity couldn't help but wonder what charm she would get next.

Once the waiter cleared their dinner plates from the table and took their desert order, Oliver removed a small velvet bag from his jacket pocket and placed it at the center of the table as he spoke, "I know you've been expecting it, so here you go."

He smiled as he watched Felicity's grin widen as she opened her gift.  When the shiny, little charm tumbled into her hand, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"A crown?"  She queried, looking from the charm to Oliver.

"Yes, a crown."  Oliver said, coming around the table and kneeling in front of her to attach the charm to her bracelet for her.  Once it hung securely from her wrist, Oliver held her left, charm bracelet clad hand in his and looked deeply into her eyes as he continued.  "Because I want to make you an official part of the Queen family."

"What?"  Felicity asked in shock as her eyes widened and her heartbeat began to pick up pace.

"Felicity, I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone else.  You make me a better person and a better hero, and you always have faith in me even when I don't have it in myself.  I couldn't imagine a world without you by my side.  What I mean is, I don't want to imagine a world without you by my side.  Frankly, we have spent enough time apart, and I want to make up for lost time.

"You do?"  Felicity smiled, eyes beginning to water with happiness.

"I do."  He nodded, then pulled the most beautiful, emerald cut diamond ring from his pocket and held it out in between them.  "So, Felicity Megan Smoak, will you do the honor of becoming my wife?  Will you marry me?"

"Yes."  Felicity beamed as tears of joy trickled down her cheeks.  "Yes, I'll marry you."

It was Oliver's turn to beam as he slid the ring onto her finger and kissed her passionately.  He didn't want to pull back, but hearing the roar of the applause from the restaurant staff and patrons made him behave himself. 

As he slid back into his seat and shared a chocolate soufflé with his new fiancée, he felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

*******

Oliver meant what he said about making up for lost time, and Felicity agreed with the sentiment.  So, within two weeks they managed to plan the perfect, simple wedding and get hitched in front of their closest friends and family.  It was beautiful and everything both Oliver and Felicity could have ever hoped for.

Over the next year, the couple faced many more ups and downs, and they were able to overcome all of the downs by standing together and standing strong just like they had before.  As for the ups in their life, the greatest was their first anniversary when the pair celebrated not only their marriage, but the news that Felicity was expecting.

While Felicity had been scared at first, given what had happened the year before, Oliver reassured her that they could handle this, that she would be a great mother, and that he would be beside her every step of the way... and he was.  Then, about nine months later, they were blessed with the most beautiful babies.  That's right.  _Babies_.  Much to everyone's surprise, Felicity gave birth to twins, a girl named Zara Megan Queen and a boy named Hudson Thomas Queen.

Oliver picked out their daughter's name Zara because it meant "light" and he knew that, like her mother, his daughter was going to be the light of his life.  Then, of course the middle name was picked to honor Felicity.

Oppositely, Felicity picked out their son's name.  She had searched for meaningful names for hours one night before stumbling upon the name Hudson, which meant "son of the hooded man" and laughed so hard she cried, then insisted it was perfect.  Oliver was reluctant at first, but when she added Thomas as the middle name, he agreed.  Heck, he would have agreed to the name eventually, regardless of the middle name, just to make her happy, but she was one step ahead as always.

As Oliver sat in the hospital bed with delicate little Zara in his arms all wrapped up in pink, he smiled at his wife who was holding their son all wrapped up in blue.  Felicity smiled back and he leaned toward her for a kiss, which was short yet slow and full of emotion.  Through that kiss, Oliver attempted to show her how thankful he was to have her in his life as his partner, friend, wife, and now the mother of his children.  He didn't know what kind of man he would have become if Felicity hadn't entered his life when she did.  He also didn't know it possible to be this happy.

Sighing in contentment as he intertwined his free hand with Felicity's, Oliver thought to himself, _"Thank god for Floyd Lawton and broken computers."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we finally made it! I hope you enjoyed this fic of mine. It was a long time in the making, but I think it turned out pretty well. This last chapter took the most time to write because I wanted to make sure I ended it just right. I hope it all flowed well enough and made the whole story worth the read.
> 
> I just want to thank you all for your support. This story was just an idea that came to mind over season three's hiatus and wasn't intended to go this far, but you guys asked for more and encouraged me to take it further, so I did! So, thank you all again. I couldn't do what I do without you guys! You're awesome! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! Also, feel free to check out my AO3 profile for more stories as well as my tumblr profile, both at hoffkk. :)


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